I grew up wanting a structured life, I guess I used to be able to see what I wanted in the future. How I wanted to live my life. I wanted to live it in more of a traditional way, no taking risks, something stable you know.
I went to university, got the job that would progress my career (whatever that means), I was set. Day after day I sat there, in an office, making fake friends with colleagues who would eventually back-stabbed you when they had the chance. Sometimes I was sad, sometimes I was happy. There was never one more emotion than the other. I was at a bee-line, I was neutral.
It wasn’t long until I realised that perhaps my life doesn’t need to be this way. Perhaps if I dropped everything right now I’d still ok be. The idea at the time was silly, I have to think of my future right? If I don’t, then I will be stuck, I’ll have no purpose. Then it became an endless cycle, the thought of whether to stay in this job being unhappy or maybe drop it all for a change. I really didn’t know what to expect, whether I’d fall, or whether I’ll make it out ok. I just knew that this wasn’t it, this wasn’t my life.
Slowly I got used to the idea or the unknown. The excitement that came along with it, and of course the lifestyle that followed. I no longer worried about the materialistic things, all I ever started to care about was spending time with people. Not just my friends, but complete strangers. I wanted to listen, to share stories, to offer a shoulder to cry on. I wanted to live my life everyday like it may potentially be my last. Eventually I started to ask myself, if I died would I be happy with that I have achieved until this day.
The answer before travelling was no. I wasn’t happy with the things that I had done. Yes, the experience and the degree have lead me to work and travel. But I cannot imagine my life if I had stayed at that office job. If my mind was focused on getting promoted, getting married and buying a house. My life would not be what it is today. Don’t get me wrong, I do want those things, eventually but in my own way. In my own time.
“Nothing is guaranteed. Happiness is not guaranteed,”
Most people ask me how I do it. When I hear people complaining about their lives and I tell them simply to make a change they think I am crazy it’s mostly because they are too afraid. I don’t blame them as well really, because I used to be like that. I used to be in their shoes. Perhaps I am crazy. But I have learnt that staying in something to be stable, to be safe doesn’t always equate to happiness. Mentally it isn’t good for your soul to be locked up inside like that.
The thing is life has no structure. It happens when you least expect it. It happens when you let go, sure if you want something bad enough you make it happen but that is life. Nothing is certain in the future, sure we can do things to direct it a certain way but nothing is guaranteed. Happiness is not guaranteed.
When you lock yourself in you don’t allow the earth to bring you want you actually need in life. Your eyes are closed to what is surrounding you.
Following your heart allows you to dare to dream again. To give you hope, to appreciate the smaller things in life. To appreciate what the world and the earth has to offer you. I’ll never be able to properly explain the freedom I feel when I am on the road, unless of course you’ve done it as well. Now that I know what it’s like I’ll never look back, I’ll always follow my heart. Even if it doesn’t make me rich, it will always make me happy.